Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Randomize
