I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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