that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I will die if light touches me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
