but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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