You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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