Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it glows. i had to have it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
