Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
they need to just BURY HIM!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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