the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
