I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry about my life...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
