I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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