I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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