Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
