we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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