standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
