Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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