I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
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The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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