I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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