singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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