i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
