I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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