i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
