How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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