oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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