He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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