well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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