her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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