I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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