OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
