We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
