Sry I called you an 8
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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