I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
