On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
