at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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