sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
