I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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