We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
