I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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