Is it normal to miss your booty call?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm too high and old for this...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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