You're completely useless in the revolution.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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