Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
