woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
