I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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