grandma shit on top of the toilet
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's never too late to be topless.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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