Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
