Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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