He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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