she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
