Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
