are you still at the devil's house?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize