chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
