8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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