Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
