Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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