yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
