I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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