look no pants
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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