A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
