I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was like eating out sand paper
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
