Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There r osticjed everywhere
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
